You bastard!

You bent me over at 4 years old and convinced me that some how it was my fault I did something wrong. I often blamed my parents how did they not know that I was sexually abused all those years. I was so young I couldn't have possibly asked for it. But my abusers would remind me that no one would beloved me and that is sickly true because other little ones died trying to tell the truth! The truth doesn't matter he could rape me, in pregnant me and abort the fetus and get away with it. He beats away with murder. Gets away with the murder of my soul, my fetus and my childhood. If I tell I know that I will

Be responsible for the death of my family as a four year old. 

Today I didn't die I hope to live more days

-No headlines

-No hashtags

-I ate my bullet simple as that.

-no there was nothing you could of door to help me.

-no you were an excellent friend

- I didn't come to you because I didn't want to be alive

-no there was nothing anyone can do

-yes I had received therapy for the demons that haunted me

-yes I tried. Fucking dam it I tried so hard to stay alive

-for the last 5 years I have lived for my family and friends, for work, for school. 

-I tried to find my pursue of happiness but the darkness that tagged at my heart constantly is what killed me

-I was no longer functional I was simply zooming through day by day.

-I was no longer alive inside

-I got tired. So tired of pretending to be happy

-please know that I have tried a lot to happy, not even happy but simply functional

-you all saw me smiling and laughing and I really needed a Grammy for my acting skills.

-I should of maybe tried harder..but how much harder

-I tried throughout the last 5 years to not kill myself but I couldn't

-do not cry for me

-I needed to die because I could no longer live!

-I promise what ever your beliefs are I am happier and in a better place! I am happier. I am resting in peace.

----the asshole who raped me as a little girl and caused a ripple affect of more rapes happening to me. I hate that you rapists won, you fucking win.. I am no longer a burden to anyone anymore but more importantly I am no longer in pain---

PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR EATING MY GUN!!

DEar God

Hi god wow today was really a trip, I don't have to tell you because you saw everything. But god I ask you that if you saw that i was at fault in any kind of way i ask you to please forgive me and protect and watch over my soul and sprit as i fall asleep. God bless and thank you for giving me an awasome life and i know for a fact that if i did not have you in my life i would not be the same. I would probably be depressed and worried, sad but because i have you i rejoice. Thank you jesus

Does GOd really hate gay people

NO! He says its a sin... in most of the bible you will see it being reflected as a sin. These are the seven things that god hates.

Proverbs 6:16-19 tells us, "There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers." Notice that homosexuality does not make this list. It would be more biblical to promote phrases such as "God hates liars" and "God hates murderers." In fact, the Bible nowhere directly states that God hates homosexuals or homosexuality.

To my besty

You Were Always There
by Zac
Whenever I needed someone to talk toYou were always there.My eyes filled with tears, my heart filled with pain, andYou were always there.There was no time when I had doubtto come to you becauseYou were always there.I could see in your eyes you wanted to help, and that you really cared.Whenever I was down and blueYou were always there.No matter my problems, are what was wrongYou were always there.Whenever I felt like nothing mattersYou were always there.Now your gone, and I don't know what to doI close my eyes and think of you, and howYou were always there.It's hard to look at the pictures, and get memories of youCan you hear me nowAt night I pray, and I speak to youI guess you were right when you told me no matter how far you wereYou would always be there.I know one day I'll see you again, but till then I have to say goodbyeEven though it hurts to hear your name, and speak of youOne thing I will always say isYou were always there.

quoets and poems

"Life gives you choices but life doesn't choose your choices for you"-aline

although its quite a statement

it happens to be true

to the bestfriend that

i have ever had

i am glad to say its you

for many years i have hoped for you -aline

" many people know nothing but hate, so they grow up hating"-aline

"you only hate a person because they

better than you , even though you should

not hate anyone"-aline

" let all the kids who want to learn for me, come to me" jesus christ

"I love everyone in the world because god loved me"- aline

"true love is hard to find, once you find it dont let go"

lost friends

lost friends

why didnt i learn my lesson?

why didn't i know?

friends last forever

but guys....they come and go

because of a guy

our friendship is gond

for how long we have been friends

in an instant.... it was gone

how could a guy come between us

we were the best of friends

how can i do this?

because of my mistakes, our friendship had to end

i know its not possible

but i need you

if only i can go back

if only i can start a new

i look back with sadness

i have so much regret

i wake up each morning

and wish I'd forget

you helped me through everything

good times and bad

i just wish I'd die

I am so mad

I know your friendship is lost

and gone forever

will i forget you?

NO......... Never

a place for you there

will always be in my heart

even though forever

we remain apart